Monday, 31 August 2015

#59 HITMAN: AGENT 47

#59 HITMAN: AGENT 47



Starring Robert Friend, Rebecca Wire, Zachary Quinto, Thomas Kretschm and Ciarán Hinds. Written by Skip Woods, Michael Finch and Kyle Ward. Directed by Aleksander Bach. 96 minutes long.

Genetic scientist,
Ciarán Hinds, creates the ultimate assassin, they get called Agents, then he decides to go 'off grid' disappears with his wife and daughter. The Agent program is shut down and the surviving agents disappear. Then some shadowy corporation called the Syndicate decides Agents are a great idea and decides to reactivate the program and the search is on for the scientist. 20 odd years later, they're searching for his daughter (Rebecca Wire), now all grown up, suffering from hallucinations who is also searching for her daddy, who abandoned her when she was a baby. The Syndicate send out John Smith, Zachary Quinto to get to the girl before genetically enhanced Agent 47, Robert Friend, gets to her first. But is everybody who they say they are?

And that's the plot nailed solid! What follows is the usual, action film tropes and memes as Agent 47 goes after his target, shooting all the bodyguards and NPCs but never bothering to shot or kill Quinto until the final showdown. Until then, it's the usual car chase, gun battle, fist fight, plot chat, car chase, gun battle, fist fight, plot chat repeated until the end, when the big bad boss villain does something completely out of character and a helicopter is crashed into a building to announce the arrival of the third act and the final showdown between hero and villain, which turns out to be as exciting as watching paint dry.

The dialogue is top class with such exchanges as this one, between Rebecca Wire and Zachary Quinto. 

"Is your name really, John Smith?"
"No... It's Brian."

Brilliant.

Featuring CGI animation that would be rejected by the average video game and offering absolutely nothing new or interesting, this is the usual, off-the-rack plot bollock with a totally bland leading man and a heavily emoting female lead, with more gun play and consequences-free violence than you could shake a stick at.

It's an embarrassingly old-fashioned and hackneyed pile of crap and even if it hadn't been released in the same year as John Wick it would still look like a terrible throw back to the bad old days of lazy action film crap and video-game adaptations.

A few chuckles to be had but that's about it.

2/10 (for a funny sequence where Rebecca dismantles 47's gun because she can't sleep).

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